A poem I wrote very quickly a while back – more of a reflective stream of consciousness than a proper poem
Shaking as I talk,
Three jumpers bunched on top of one another.
The sun shines bright through the ice,
Mocking me, aren’t you?
I always loved the spring
April was elating
aren’t real life.
I move, empty.
Half a slice of bread, half an apple.
A handful of walnuts, three oranges.
No. No. No. No. Wait-
Sugar is sinful. No more fruit.
Bread makes you bloat. Rice cakes instead.
Or just celery. Move. Celery. Cucumber. Yoghurt.
I can’t WAIT to see you again! I’ll look just
How you want me to. You’ll love me. Again
Cereal, three bowls
With milk. One, two,
Three choc – five, six, seven
Chocolates. More. More. More.
Can’t move. More. Can’t. Need. So,
So Good. I c a n ‘ t . Just one
More. You’ve started already so you
Might as well carry on. Persevere. Your
Resolve is sorry. Except with this. Stop
Wait Stop Enough What Have I done? What Have
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I won’t ever again. Please
God if there’s one thing I can ask for please
Can I never do this again? Thank you, God, Amen.
Can’t get up. Must – salad. Tomatoes, lettuce
Cucumber. Just. Just. No. Just one. One chocolate
One packet of crisps. One biscuit. One
Pack of biscuits. Cheese. Nutella.
Crips. Chocolate. Cheese.
Sweet then savoury
You feel less full
Life’s pleasures. Woe. One love.